Are you made of stone? Were you born with some rare disorder that prevents you from laughing? Are you a Catholic priest? If you answered "no" to all of these questions, then you are not immune to the charming spell that funny t-shirts cast on us all. Some people are a harder nut to crack then others, but I took it upon myself to find a funny t-shirt that even the most stoic individuals can't help but laugh at.
My Nanna was the sourest person I have ever met. I think that during the Great Depression, she might have had to sell her sense of humor to buy her kids dinner one night, or something. The fact is, that I have never seen this woman even smile. I know she had hard times growing up and it wasn't until dad bought her a condo that she was ever really financially stable. Whatever her problem, funny t-shirts were about to make this woman smile.
I thought pure silliness might be the trick, so I picked a shirt that had a donkey on it saying "Who Farted?" This wasn't my proudest moment, but I felt it might do the trick. When I knocked on her door, she opened it and stared up at me from the seat of her hover-round scooter. I asked her to look at my shirt and she just stared at it for a long time with this twisted look on her face. She grumbled something at me and shut the door. I thought I had failed completely, until I later realized that this was what my grandmother looked like when she was laughing at funny t-shirts. The Great Depression left some deep scars, man.
My next victim was a hard choice. I was either going to go after a hard-line Republican gun owner, or a local preacher who I had heard secretly supports the Westboro Baptist Church. Since I didn't want to risk getting burned at a stake, I decided to go after the Republican. I chose very carefully from several online sources, but finally settled on some funny t-shirts that I thought might do the trick.
I would say that this guy I planned on meeting hates me because I dated his daughter. I would say that, except that other guys have dated his daughter and not had to endure hateful, half-threats and fear tactics taught by the world's most aggressive military. I was already standing at the foot of his steps when I started thinking about how stupid this whole thing was and that funny t-shirts couldn't protect me from the pain this man was about to inflict on me.
I now know that funny t-shirts have the ability to make anyone laugh. I know this because I knocked on the door, and this gruff monster of a former marine opened it and politely asked, "What the hell do you want?" I asked him to look at my shirt, just as planned. He looked and laughed harder than anyone I have ever seen in my life. Apparently, fart jokes are the best call when cracking hard exteriors.
My Nanna was the sourest person I have ever met. I think that during the Great Depression, she might have had to sell her sense of humor to buy her kids dinner one night, or something. The fact is, that I have never seen this woman even smile. I know she had hard times growing up and it wasn't until dad bought her a condo that she was ever really financially stable. Whatever her problem, funny t-shirts were about to make this woman smile.
I thought pure silliness might be the trick, so I picked a shirt that had a donkey on it saying "Who Farted?" This wasn't my proudest moment, but I felt it might do the trick. When I knocked on her door, she opened it and stared up at me from the seat of her hover-round scooter. I asked her to look at my shirt and she just stared at it for a long time with this twisted look on her face. She grumbled something at me and shut the door. I thought I had failed completely, until I later realized that this was what my grandmother looked like when she was laughing at funny t-shirts. The Great Depression left some deep scars, man.
My next victim was a hard choice. I was either going to go after a hard-line Republican gun owner, or a local preacher who I had heard secretly supports the Westboro Baptist Church. Since I didn't want to risk getting burned at a stake, I decided to go after the Republican. I chose very carefully from several online sources, but finally settled on some funny t-shirts that I thought might do the trick.
I would say that this guy I planned on meeting hates me because I dated his daughter. I would say that, except that other guys have dated his daughter and not had to endure hateful, half-threats and fear tactics taught by the world's most aggressive military. I was already standing at the foot of his steps when I started thinking about how stupid this whole thing was and that funny t-shirts couldn't protect me from the pain this man was about to inflict on me.
I now know that funny t-shirts have the ability to make anyone laugh. I know this because I knocked on the door, and this gruff monster of a former marine opened it and politely asked, "What the hell do you want?" I asked him to look at my shirt, just as planned. He looked and laughed harder than anyone I have ever seen in my life. Apparently, fart jokes are the best call when cracking hard exteriors.
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