Some Terrible Halloween Costume Ideas

By Matt York


Who has time to worry about some stupid Halloween costume? If you ask me, a Halloween t-shirt beats the idea of toiling away and getting dressed up for what is, essentially, a children's holiday. No, thank you. Just because I don't want to get dressed up like Batman, or whatever, doesn't mean I don't want to get drunk. If you are resistant to the idea of a Halloween t-shirt, here are a few other options.

Getting some old clothes out, putting some rips in them, and rubbing your face with dirt may be a good choice for you. Very cheap and very easy, you can just tell people you're a hobo. It's pretty much how you were going to look anyway when you finally stumble drunkenly through the door at Waffle House at 3am, right? A Halloween t-shirt would be much cleaner, though.

You could find yourself a giant black trash bag, use some scissors to cut that bag up, and throw it over your body. With some newspaper and tissues taped to the right place, you'll be a great bag of human trash. A hot, plastic-covered, bag of trash that nobody wants to talk to. Probably should have gone with the Halloween t-shirt, don't you think?

Here's a great idea! Don't do anything at all! Wear your normal clothes and tell people that you are the physical representation of Procrastination. that's not a pretentious or uppity response at all, right? Okay, maybe it is a bit lame. do you know what's not lame? If you guessed "Halloween t-shirts", hen you'd be a big winner.

There really isn't a better choice for a modern, lazy male than a Halloween t-shirt. you can get away with being a jerk while still retaining a bit of your coolness. Jumping on my bandwagon doesn't make you a loser...it makes you awesome.




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