Communication is one of the most important things in human life. There are verbal communication, there are non-verbal communication. There are times when we communicate internally to ourselves, there is time for us to communicate with the external environment, namely to communicate with others.
"" Communicating is not just about talk, but LISTEN. ""
In relation to verbal communication, there are oral and written communication. This time I want to discuss about oral communication. In verbal communication, our activities are simply talking and listening.
Nah. As we mature we often need to be trained for smart talk. The ability to speak is very important for the purpose and goals that we want to convey can be delivered properly. A good speech will simplify our lives whether personal or professional life. That's why this is not just speaking skills taught parents, schools and even to speak for example there are different courses for public speaking courses.
But, we forget that communicating is not just about talk, but LISTEN.
Listen well what the other person to us is a very important thing in communication, for the purpose and goals of others presented to us can be accepted and digested well, whether it relates to the personal or professional. Listening is the most important elements of communication other than speech.
As we grow older, it seems education is often very stressed to us to talk smart but not smart in the hearing. That's why very often there are problems in human life, because adalanya communication element is overlooked, namely: HEAR.
"" When someone speaks, if you are busy thinking about something else or while checks Blackberry, Twitter, and email? ""
There was never any education about hearing. Education was always emphasized that a person can speak. In fact there are several courses to train the ability to speak, but there was never any courses 'hear' with smart. Lack of education for smart in hearing what the other person, often makes us not accustomed to listening and PRESENT at the time of a person to communicate something to us.
Because we are not trained how to listen and hear with FULLY PRESENT when someone speaks to us, then every so often miscommunication among humans. One catch. Misunderstood. Misunderstood. Misunderstanding. Iyakan?
Listening is not a thing that looks 'smart' than if someone 'talk'. Someone in the cap if it looks smart smart talk, but a man never at smart seal for hearing by way of listening and fully present. Yet very often the problems arise between spouses, friends, colleagues, family, and so forth, just because we misunderstand what they say due to not really listen to what they convey to us or vice versa.
We believe strongly in 'smart' in speech. Admit it, sometimes we or other people from commenting, which is important to look smart, which is important to look responsive, but what the comment had nothing to do with the context in question. Activities 'commentary origin' is also common in the blogging world, but his comments have no link with the context being discussed. Why does this happen? Perhaps because so look smart, important follow-up chat and nimbrung, an important comment, which is important 'look'. Above all it is, it is because we are not educated, not trained to listen and BE SMART IN FULLY PRESENT when something is conveyed to us. Smart does not mean intelligent.
Good listening is by listening and FULLY PRESENT. If you hear only physically, into the left ear right ear out, it is often not necessarily that means listening and fully present. Often we are physically located in front of someone who is speaking to us, our ears to hear what he says but our thoughts go everywhere, busy thinking about something else, busy noticed something else, or busy nge sms-check, he checks Blackberry, Facebook, Twitter, and so forth.
It could be the next time someone speaks to us, we think or do things that have nothing to do with what people are talking about or busy giving respond in his own mind, and was busy thinking about what to say next. Yeah right? Finally we so do not listen and do not FULLY PRESENT when someone submit something to us. No wonder very often we do not accept fully what the person said, not 'ngeh', one understands, one catch. There are so many problems between people who happened not just because someone is not smart to speak, but because someone is not intelligent in the hearing by way of listening and fully present.
Misunderstandings between people often occurs because human beings are not fully present to each other and listen when someone speaks to someone else.
Therefore hear, not necessarily listened to and fully present. Often is it we hear the sentence "Hence listened dong!".
Heard that smart is to listen and attend fully to the person who is speaking to us. So, not only physically heard. Listening and fully present rather than just a physical activity that our ears hear what is spoken person, but a mental activity in which we focus mentally on what was said and present sehadir-presence. Present were not only means our bodies are physically present when someone speaks to us, but mentally present when someone is speaking.
Try to observe, would very often when someone speaks to us, we are busy doing other things and memikirakan. Let's admit! Listening and fully present for someone who is speaking to us not only avoid us from the false arrest / false understanding of it presented, but also makes the person being spoken to us feel appreciated. Feeling 'heard'.
Needs to be appreciated is one of the basic human needs. Do you often feel 'not heard' by your friends, your spouse, your colleagues, your boss / your staff? It was like not valued is not it? Feelings of 'not heard' is also one of the problems in human relationships, whether personal relationships or employment relationships.
Feelings of 'not heard' makes us feel unappreciated. Hearing by listening and fully present to people who are talking with us, make someone feel appreciated.
Try starting to realize if when you speak, if someone is listening and fully present for you, or he do anything else. Or try to realize when someone is talking, whether you are busy thinking about something else and / or while doing other things (such as check cell phones, Blackberry, Twitter, check e-mail and so forth).
To raise awareness about the 'listening and fully present', begin to realize these things:
1. Do you really listen and fully present to people who are talking to you. Do you understand what is spoken?
2. Are you fully listen and fully present when the person is talking to you? Are you thinking about other things and do something else when he speaks to you
3. Does anyone else ever misunderstanding what you say?
4. Have you ever misunderstanding what someone said to you?
5. Do you feel appreciated when someone is listening and fully present when you talk to someone?
6. Does anyone else ever feel unappreciated because you listen and do not fully present when he speaks to you?
7. If only you and other people listen to each other and fully present, does this save you and others from contention, debate and argument due to misunderstanding? Does this save you and other people from one task given to you or someone else?
Be aware of these things over the years. The more you realize it, your awareness to listen and attend fully to the person who spoke to you will increase. It could be with the consciousness, eventually you can always train to listen and fully present when someone speaks to you. Maybe, if after you have this new habit, your relationship with your partner, family or professional relationship for the better, because by listening and comes fully make us no misunderstanding of what the other person, and make others feel valued.
